Buffy Drabbles
by Kairos Impending
Summary: A series of unrelated drabbles centering on the characters from Buffy. Left open for future additions. Ratings will be T or under.
1. Laws of Vengeance

"So, Anya. I heard you got your powers back."

"That's right! Got a lover to curse?"

"Actually...I might."

"Really? That was sarcasm, because I thought you were too boring to curse anyone."

"Thanks. Yeah. You know how Angel broke my heart?"

"Sure. Excessively prolonged grudges are still legitimate."

"I thought a good revenge would be to take all his powers away. You know, make him human."

"Sure, I could-- waaaait. This isn't about revenge. You want him human so you can have sex with him! Well, that's very crafty, but nobody cheats on a vengeance wish."

Well, she had tried.


	2. NPCs Are Expendable Anyway

"What kind of character did you roll?" Willow asked Xander as Jesse set up the Dungeon Master's screen on the table.

"Half-Orc Barbarian," Xander replied proudly. "You?"

"Elven Wizard."

Jesse looked up from the clatter of dice. "You always play wizards."

Willow shrugged. He was right. Xander was a different class and race for every campaign they played, but the game lost interest for her if she couldn't cast imaginary spells. "I could change it," she offered. "Sorcerer? Druid?"

"Wizard's fine," Jesse laughed. "Just don't kill any NPCs this time."

"You're never going to let me forget that, are you?"


	3. Underground Vermin

It had been weeks since Angel jumped the turnstile and made his way down to the subway tunnels, and he saw little reason to leave. Rats were plentiful there, daylight was never an issue, and nobody looked twice at another dirty stranger asleep on one of the hard benches.

Time had already lost its meaning when an equally ragged woman, young and emaciated and damaged forever by drugs, climbed into his lap and slid her hands under his clothes. Beneath her filthy skin was an intoxicatingly rapid heartbeat, and her neck was close, so close…

She laughed, oblivious. He ran.


	4. No Hope No Trick

The old professor's blood washed easily off of Faith's skin, leaving the water at her feet pink for just seconds before it disappeared down the drain. Her stained clothing had been even less of a problem; she simply threw them away. The mayor would give her money for more with a smile.

She glanced down, and the last drop of color in the water caught her eye. It registered briefly that the blood had belonged to someone, a real person, living and breathing…

_Shut up,_ she told herself. _Start caring now, and you got to care about everything else too._


	5. Orally Transmitted

All of a sudden Oz pulled away from her and sat up in bed, inexplicably flustered. "I'm sorry. I didn't mean to…"

"What? You didn't hurt me." What was wrong with him? They'd had a nice thing going on. Did he think she couldn't handle a little biting?

"I could have. My teeth are sharper than they used to be."

"I know." She had discovered his hidden razor edges early on, feeling them out with her tongue, fascinated. "I like them."

He grinned at that, but sobered quickly. "Willow, if I had broken the skin…"

Oh. _Oh._ "Okay. No teeth."


	6. Your One Desire

He didn't tell them where he had been all night, but Spike, scowling from his wheelchair, clearly knew.

Drusilla knew too. "You haunt her every step," she purred, stroking her hand down his chest. "She riddles you, and you want her."

He pulled her onto his lap. "That's right," he whispered. "So show me what I want to see."

She laughed, fingers hovering at his eyes. "Be in me."

Willingly he complied, and her form changed under his hands, bony angles to soft curves, sensual blue eyes to terrified grey-green ones, full of tears. "Angel," she begged. "Let me go…"


	7. Let Me In OC Guest Spot

"Finally, I've heard rumors circulating about the blood of the clergy being lethal to vampires, and I'd like to address that."

Tom looked up from his note-taking. He had been hearing the holy-blood theory since he had entered the seminary.

"It's false," Father Louis continued. "After you're ordained, your body will have no special quality of any kind. Don't do anything stupid."

Tom absorbed the information and then spent the rest of the afternoon in prayers of gratitude. He was prepared to make the choice if necessary, but it was undeniably preferable to know it was out of his hands.


	8. Passion's Last Words

Welcome to Sunnydale, our moderately-sized, balmy-weathered, southern California crater. Population 0. Not a single Starbucks in sight. Not much of anything else either.

Maybe if you went digging down there, you'd find some treasure. Maybe, somewhere in that hole, there are pieces of old homes, headstones bearing beloved names, priceless books, medieval weapons. Maybe there's a witchy Pez dispenser and a motorcycle and a cash register and a tearstained diary and a claddagh ring.

There are definitely memories, and heartbreak, and years of evil.

Maybe we'll come back one day to see—but not today. We won. It is finished.


	9. You Too, Huh?

"No cure."

"What?"

"There's no cure. I'm dying. It's alright."

"You look alive to me."

"Ha. No. Been dead—centuries—"

"It's all relative. Hey, Angel, you should try to sleep."

"No. Have to tell you. So sorry. Things I said. You're not a brat."

"Oh. Thanks."

"Don't go?"

"We've got you covered."

Angel relaxed a little, hearing that, and he closed his eyes as the cool wet cloth swept across his forehead again. Then panic seized him again and he reached out for the hand holding the cloth. "Buffy—"

"She'll be back soon."

She? Angel squinted. "Oz?"

"Present."


	10. Spare the Kid Sister, Maybe

She comes to him for sex, not advice, but he knows when something's bothering her. Right now it's her friends, her sister, her boss—everyone.

It bothers him too, because he always had the perfect solution for it: kill the wankers. All of them. Thoroughly. Makes the problems disappear, just like magic.

But he knows she'll never cross that line, no matter how many she's already crossed by being here with him. It's a human thing, he understands that much. He remembers being horrified by the idea of taking a life; he just doesn't remember why. It makes him cross.


	11. Was She Conscious?

They always avoided the topic of what had happened that night, but something she said one day, years later, suggested that she remembered it differently than he did. Surprised, he didn't correct her.

He even began to wonder if he had imagined his version of events, but for all that it had happened in the blink of an eye, he wasn't likely to forget this. She had certainly passed out, as she believed, but not before turning to him with a serene smile and saying, "Wow."

It was better if she had lost that memory. Mere martyrdom, he could handle.


	12. I Can Fix This

"Hey Giles, you know those orbs you have on the top shelf that say they're 'pan-dimensional'?"

"Yes, what about them?"

"And then, those pouches under the glass case that say the same thing?"

"Yes, Xander, what's your question?"

"What's pan-dimensional mean?"

"They exist in all dimensions, or, spells cast through them affect all dimensions."

"Okay, so, hypothetically, if some guy dropped one of the orbs into one of the bags—by accident—what would happen?"

"Well, it's untested, but in theory, the universe might begin to slowly unravel until the pouch was inverted and the orb removed."

"….Be right back."


	13. The Cupboard Was Bare

Willow and Tara tried so hard to show Dawn that this was still her house and they weren't trying to intrude on the memory of her family. They generally succeeded, but Dawn's eyes were open, and every room in the house was subtly different than it used to be.

The kitchen was full of reminders. There was rye bread and wheat bread—Mom always got white. There was no cheese—Buffy never ran out of cheese. There was peanut butter, but Willow had forgotten the Summers' unanimous preference for crunchy and bought creamy instead.

Lately, making sandwiches made Dawn cry.


	14. Vampire Sidekick, Part 1

"Great," said Buffy as they rushed downstairs and found themselves in a large corridor. "Which way did it go?"

"Probably outside," Angel replied, "but you better check the bathrooms first."

"Correction: I'd better check the ladies'. Urinal-haven is your territory."

"Actually, I've never used—"

"Okay, this is a first, but, _TMI, _Angel. And I'm not going into the men's room! What if someone's in there?"

He shrugged helplessly. "Public restrooms always have big mirrors. I'm more conspicuous in there than you are."

"Oh God," she groaned. "Fine! But if I get ogled—"

"He gets thrown through the wall."


	15. Vampire Sidekick, Part 2

"Your face is gonna stick like that," Buffy warned Spike cheerfully as her stake eliminated their patrol's last victim.

Spike morphed back out of his fighting visage, appearing inexplicably mortified. "That's not funny."

"Well hello, cultural sensitivity police. What's your bellyache?"

He mumbled something inaudible.

"What?"

"I _said,"_ he repeated with a long-suffering sigh, "my face _did _stick like that once. And it was very traumatic."

Buffy squealed. "That _happens?"_

"Look, it's harder to control when you're young, and I was. Got over it, anyhow."

"How long?"

More mumbling.

"Tell me!"

"…'Bout a week."

Buffy dissolved into culturally insensitive laughter.


	16. Romeo Foxtrot

They were each staked out at one corner of the cemetery, and the blinking flashlight beam that Riley saw now was coming from Willow's. He waited for her message to complete: so far it was an H and an I. There was a pause, then a single dash: a T. He frowned. She was telling them…"hit"?

The flashing continued: dot, dash. A.

H-I-T-A?

The next letter proved to be an R, and then dot-dash again. Riley groaned quietly as the greeting was returned from another corner. He liked Buffy's friends, but he despaired of ever seeing them take this seriously.


	17. Better Stick With the Wheel

"A Ouija board? Those really work?"

Willow laid the board out on her bed and shook her head. "They're not practical. But my…well-meaning mother got it for me and I thought of a use for it." She reached into the rat cage and scooped up Amy. "If she still has her intelligence, she can communicate with us by pointing to the letters. Go for it, Amy."

Amy twitched her nose and then ran off the board, only to be caught and replaced. "Let's try that again."

"Willow…" Xander began.

Willow's eyes started leaking. "I don't know what else to try."


	18. It's Not For a Fugitive, REALLY

He sometimes got people in there asking for blood, sure, but usually they were pale, ominous fellows. It wasn't his habit to wonder what their deal was—that was the Sunnydale code—but he sure hadn't seen this nervous teenage girl here before.

"How much you want?" he asked.

Color drained from her cheeks. "I…I don't know. He never—do you sell it by the gallon?"

"One quart containers, usually."

"Can I have a bunch of those? Wait, how many cups in a quart? Never mind, I don't even…" She stared at him, then announced, "It's _for an art project!"_


	19. They Gave Up on Teddybears

Maureen shifted the baby on her lap and checked her watch. "Ken, can you open up the playpen? Moon's about to rise."

Her husband unlocked a large, sturdy cage in the corner. "Daddy got you a special treat tonight, Jordy," he cooed as Maureen carried the baby over and set him down in the cage. The treat was already in there—a huge raw beef bone with plenty of meat still attached.

Jordy ignored it and fussed about his pacifier being taken away, but just before dawn, Maureen peeked in at a massacred bone and a very satisfied sleeping pup.


	20. PM Me If You Don't Get It

The apocalypse never came, of course, so the signs of it healed themselves in one way or another. For example, one mother cat decided not to reject her litter of snakes, and raised them all to adulthood. For months they followed her around, chasing after each other's tails and begging for saucers of milk with their best approximation of a plaintive mew, happily ignorant of their true nature.

Years later, one struck up a friendship with a black and white kitten, and was devastated when she was killed by...wait. That girl was the _Key!_ Why didn't anyone else _get it?_


	21. Arachnomancery

There was a database of spell components on Willow's computer, complete with lists of each one's uses and tips on where the rarer ones might be found. Most importantly, she had compiled notes on possible substitutions that could work when the first choice wasn't available.

She had been poring over those notes for an hour. The potion was sitting on her desk, waiting for its final ingredient. There was officially nothing she could use to complete it except for what the original recipe called for.

"Sweetie," said Tara with formidable but waning patience. "_I'll _add the 'one live spider', okay?"


	22. And Before That, Gorillas

"Mayor Wilkins! It's an honor to meet you at last!"

"My pleasure, Principal Flutie! Now, I'm sure you're going to do a stand-up, first-rate job as the head honcho of Sunnydale High, but I just wanted to have a few words about a, well,_ sensitive_ issue. See, kids today seem to do a lot of touching. And that can be great! But remember, there's such a thing as _wrong_ touching. The kind that sends the wrong signals-- or spreads germs! Or leads to being eaten by sewer rats."

"...What?"

"Well, our last principal was...oh, never mind. Let's think positively, right?"


	23. Fighter Pilot Is a Safer Career

Buffy supposed she shouldn't have been surprised that she wanted to spend the day after Giles's funeral in a library, though the urge had come spontaneously and she hardly remembered how she had gotten there. It was a city library, bright and plain and peppered with computers, not his style at all. Still, the rows of well-worn, well-loved books were comforting, and every reader engrossed in his or her studies made Buffy smile.

They should have met like this, she thought. He should have loaned her a few books. Hushed her when she spoke too loudly. Died older. Much older.


	24. Penetrating to Say the Least!

"Whistler. I thought you'd left town."

"Just figured I'd come 'round and check up on you one last time. Secret's out now, huh?"

Angel nodded, not bothering to inquire about how he knew that. "Yes. I told her what I am."

"And she didn't kick your ass to the pavement?" Whistler sounded impressed-- possibly even proud of him.

"No." Angel couldn't help feeling a little proud, himself. "I still can't believe it."

"Well, believe it or not, sport, my work here is done. Keep it real." He turned to go.

"Wait. Whistler?"

"Yeah?"

"Do you think my eyes...bulge, at all?"


	25. He's Comfortable With It

The latest recruit, Zdenka, and two other junior Slayers came over to Xander's table and set down their lunch trays, already deep in an animated discussion. "What I most love about Academy," Zdenka was saying, "is so many womans. At home I have only brothers."

"I know!" replied Lisa. "It's all girls, all the time. Such a break."

Xander took this moment to clear his throat loudly.

"Oh, except you, Xander! But you're different than other guys. You're like, one of us, you know?"

He offered her a sarcastic salute. "Xander Harris: completely one of the girls, ten years running."


	26. A Matter of Perspective

The Harvest went off without a hitch and the Master couldn't have been more pleased. The best kind of massacre, he thought, was the preordained kind. Though the world still wasn't providing much of a distraction from his chronic boredom, it was at least looking a lot more like the Hell he wanted it to be.

"Look there," he said to the Anointed One. "That's a river of blood. Really quite charming." He gave him an affectionate pat on the shoulder. "And I'm fuzzy on the details, but I hear the research for my dread machine is coming along splendidly."


	27. Drinking Out of Cups

As he poured his breakfast into a cup he pondered the truth of it. He couldn't give up blood if he wanted to live, but biting was a facet of his nature that he could do without, so that was the new rule.

But he missed it, sometimes even more than the taste of human blood. He used to love the feeling of his fangs in a neck. Later he would vent his frustrations on the rats, biting down on them so hard their little spines would break. Now? He had cups.

...And for the harder days, his own arm.


	28. Singular Visionary

Dawn used to assume that Giles knew everything. Later she observed Willow in action and concluded that there was more than one kind of expert. Both reached the top of their respective fields by studying, and Dawn was inspired. With enough knowledge and magic, she was certain that anything was possible.

Now, both mentors gone, she's reached the top of her field and people come to her for answers. Sometimes she has them. Sometimes she doesn't and can't even explain why.

Xander has been living with one eye for fifteen years. He never complains. Dawn keeps searching for the answer.


	29. The PreVillain Villain

He lurked by the door until Dawn poked her head out. "You can come in. My mom's not home."

After he entered, she stayed in the room, staring at him, until he stifled a laugh and said, "What?"

"Are you gonna do the face?"

"Oh, not this again…"

"Come on, please?"

"Nope."

"Just once?"

"You'll scream."

"I will not!"

There was a five second silent test of wills. She won.

He winced as Dawn dashed upstairs with the delighted high-pitched shriek unique to girls her age. "Vampire! There's a vampire in here!"

Buffy's voice floated downstairs. "Be right there, Angel!"


	30. I Feel Like a Joan

They'd started talking about saints one night, after patrol led them through a traditionally decorated church. Angel knew more about them, of course: "It wasn't just prayers and martyrdom. Some were scholars. Or warriors."

"Holy crusaders, huh? Didn't think you were a fan."

"I have my favorites." He smiled. "Joan of Arc. A teenage girl called to a sacred destiny she didn't understand. She lost everything, but she never stopped fighting."

"Bet she died young."

"She did. But she wasn't the last of a kind."

At the time, Buffy had been merely charmed, but the praise lived long within her.


	31. It Worked, Part 1

Riff snuck a peek out the window. "You gotta run for it. Take Robbie. I'll distract them."

"No!" Nikki finally began to panic. "You're coming too, you hear me?"

It was the first time he had ever ignored a request from her. "I love you, baby. Raise my boy right."

When she found him again he was bloody and broken, his pulse fluttering faintly. Nikki had never felt so helpless, and she neither understood nor cared about why her body felt stronger than it ever had in her life.

Riff opened one eye and tried to smile. "Did it work?"


	32. It Worked, Part 2

After using wind to extinguish a lit candle, five times in a row, Willow decided it was time to move on to the next element on her checklist: water.

Oz came over that night and found her frantically trying to mop up the huge puddle that the kitchen had become. She gestured at an open spellbook sitting on the counter by a large punchbowl. "I was trying to do the Sorcerer's Apprentice trick," she explained. "You know, increase a small amount of water."

"Oh." He looked around and noticed that the ceiling and walls were also dripping. "Did it work?"


	33. It Worked, Part 3

She was pounding on his door hours before sunrise, but Xander just shrugged on a bathrobe and went to admit her. Dating Anya entailed expecting the unexpected.

"I've been wreaking vengeance upon men like you since before you were a gleam in your ancestor's eye, and you think I don't know a trick like this when I see one? Flowers are a way for men to draw attention away from their romantic failings. You just wanted to make me like you again by apologizing and giving me something pretty!"

Xander nodded and rubbed his eyes. "Well, yeah. Did it work?"


	34. It Worked, Part 4

It seemed so easy in concept, just bite and drink and then make her do the same. Drusilla certainly hadn't showed any difficulty in doing it to him. She must have had practice. Or maybe he had been too preoccupied with his own role in the procedure to notice exactly what she was doing.

Either way, this was far messier than he had expected, and Mum was less her reassuring self than she was hysterical. She drank, though, and then dropped to the floor and lay still.

William poked her with a toe. Out loud, he mumbled, "Did it work?"


	35. Another Brick In the Wall

Ripper hummed Pink Floyd as he arranged a distraction to cover his absence from class for the next few days. He wasn't going to harm much, just take a much-needed break from the thought control of the Wankers' Council. And he hadn't stopped studying: it took serious research to find a spell to summon a demon that would suit his purposes.

The next day the entire school building was shut down until the beast could be captured. Most reports on the incident left out the detail that every time it attacked, it growled the words, "Teacher leave those kids alone!"


	36. She Got the Bird Thing Anyway

"Hold on. Ethan Rayne's evil Halloween dress-up spell? You _learned_ it?"

"Well, yeah, but…" Willow's voice turned persuasive. "Think about if it were used for good. We pick out the costumes ourselves, put them here, I enchant the room, and voila! Tomorrow we all get to live out some dreams in a safe, controlled way. C'mon, Buffy, what do you want to be?"

There were definitely a few appealling options. Buffy thought about celebrities, goddesses, birds. What, indeed?

Then she thought about her last few attempts to be something else. "What happens if I just put my pajamas in there?"


	37. Slightly Delayed Holiday Special

Xander blinked at the cooling sheets of cookies. "Okay, new rule: we're not letting the junior Slayers frost the gingerbread men anymore."

"Aww," said Willow, who was employing her levitation skills to get the lights up. "I thought they were cute! With those little coconut fangs, and the red candy eyes…"

"Sure, but now everyone thinks it's hilarious to stab them with toothpicks and smash them before eating them. The crumbs are everywhere."

Willow floated downwards. "How 'bout this? Vampire cookies are acceptable, but slaying them is strictly decapitation."

"That works," said Xander. He always ate the head first anyway.


	38. Peace Talks, Part 1

_Hi! You've reached Buffy. You've reached Dawn. You've reached Buffy and Dawn! We're not here to take your call, but give us your vital stats when you hear the beep, and we'll call you back. Probably._

"Dawn, I've uncovered some new information about the Therium nest, and I'd like to share it, if I could talk to you instead of your answering machine for once. This is a simple project that you and I should be able to handle on our own, so please return my call and don't try enlisting Spike again. I don't suppose you've heard from Buffy…?"


	39. Peace Talks, Part 2

_If you have this number, you know what to do with it. Cheers._

"Hey, are you there? Pick up. Helloooo…..okay, fine. Giles found a Therium nest. He's been telling me not to talk to you about it, but the thing is, there's only four adults in there and I don't see why we should have to wait for Buffy. If you want to be the muscle tonight, come pick me up after sunset. Oh, and Xander's been acting kind of jealous of you? If I find out you said anything suggestive, I'm giving you back to the Initiative for keeps."


	40. Peace Talks, Part 3

_Greetings from the Handy House of Harris. If someone broke down your door again and you need me to come fix it, press one. If you'd like to— _

"Listen to me, you little prat. Whatever you said to Niblet about me, just march yourself right back and tell her you're a sodding idiot who doesn't deserve what he's got. If I weren't half-devoured by a Therium right now I'd escort you there my—aaarh, bloody hell that stings—you wait 'til Buffy comes back and sees you're playing games with her little sister's heart. Man up and talk it out."


	41. Peace Talks, Part 4

_Hi, this is Willow's cell. I've been working on a better system of communication—did you know cell phones were originally developed by a warlock in his spare time? Stay tuned. In the meantime, leave a message!_

"Hey Wills. We got nothing; the infection's just as bad as it was yesterday. Dawn's still mad at me. Listen, I need to talk to you. I know we all agreed that Buffy needed this, but I thought she would at least miss us by now. If you know anything the rest of us don't…you don't have to tell me, but…I'm worried, Willow."


	42. Peace Talks, Part 5

_This is Angel. Leave a message._

"Um, hi. It's Willow. I'm just calling to—I mean—I hope you'll call me back. It's been hard on us without her, without both of you. Spike got hurt fighting some Theria. We're not sure he's going to make it. I know you don't care, but don't you think Buffy would want to know? Please just talk to her. We won't make her fight anymore. We're sorry. Dawn wants to see her again. We all do. Angel, if you really love her…goddess, I swore I wasn't going to get like this…please just call."


	43. Peace Talks, Part 6

"Buffy. It's me. I'm going to plant these here, they'll be beautiful in the spring.

"I have to talk to your friends soon. It scares me. I don't know if they'll even believe that you were already sick when you left them. I know they won't believe you died with a smile on your face, warm in my arms, and even if they do, they'll never forgive me for it.

"I don't really understand why you wanted it to be this way. You told me to fight and I'll fight forever, but you…

"They'll be beautiful this spring, you'll see."


	44. Angel Makes a Wish

"You can't protect this town yourself."

_Someone has to._

"You're not a Slayer."

_Neither is she._

"You're fadin'. No rest, not enough blood. Same deal I pulled you out from."

_It's better._

"Listen, pal, some honesty's all I ask—this what you thought that wish was gonna get you, or did you have other ideas? Maybe about a nubile normal-life schoolgirl suddenly havin' time and inclination to fall into the arms of the lonesome neighborhood vampire?"

Angel finally answered. "It doesn't matter. She can be happy now."

"Right. Great for the last Slayer. Rest of the world? Not so much."


	45. Finn Family Farm

He was nicknamed 'Huckleberry' before he was even born. Neither of them had ever meant for it to stick like it did, but somehow it just fit him too well to drop.

"PIG!" said Huck, pointing down at the animal from his father's lofty shoulders. "PIG! LOOK! PIG!"

"That is a pig, champ," Riley praised him.

Sam smiled and slipped her hand into his as they kept walking. "Do you want more of these?" she asked idly.

"Already? I thought we agreed, six sows for the first year."

She giggled, then stopped him and kissed his cheek. "I'm pregnant again."


	46. Control Alternate Delete

For as long as she's known her way around an operating system, there's nothing Willow likes less than working on an obsolete machine. Every step of the project includes another reminder that it could have been quicker and easier if she'd had her choice of tools. Even in middle school she sighed when Xander asked her to restore files on his family's ancient IBM.

Returning to computers now feels the same way. She knows a hundred spells that would get the job done without touching a keyboard.

With her magic, Willow could hack the world. Everything around her is obsolete.


End file.
